Reconstruction Sugery 

I had my last surgery on 6/28/19. This was my 2nd reconstruction surgery as my plastic surgeon originally told me that I would take a couple surgeries to even out my chest. I had a unilateral mastectomy meaning I have one real breast and one fake. Plus I had radiation after chemotherapy and radiated skin makes everything even harder to to operate on. And then my upper body is pretty petite so making small adjustments during surgery was the safest way to go. As I sit in my hospital bed getting preped for surgery I started thinking about my life since diagnosis. I’ve gone through hell and back. I’ve had some hard days and even harder days. Cancer takes so much away but in a strange way, it’s also given me so many opportunities. I’ve meet some incredible people, I started a blog, my story was featured at the breast friends gala, & I was cast to be in a movie. Meanwhile I’m able to run without my hip hurting, I can kick ass in a Burncyle class, I walked Portland to Coast, & I’m co

•Reconstruction Recovery•

It’s been a full week since my reconstruction surgery. A week of healing, laying low, & resting. This surgery brings a different feel than my mastectomy. A feeling of completion, yet still so much anxiety. I should be excited that this awful year is over and I get to finish it out in this positive way but it’s actually been quite the opposite.  Let me explain...... When I had my appointment with my plastic surgeon at the end of summer and he checked to see how my skin was healing from radiation, I was thrilled to hear that he would be able to schedule my reconstruction surgery at the end of 2018. He said I was healing quickly and everything looked great! I would look forward to starting 2019 in a much better place physically and mentally, I thought. I went home super giddy and couldn’t wait to talk details. My mind went to fantasy land, “what would I look like? Will I have great breasts again? No more expander? I’ll feel like a sexy woman again!!”  I was on this “high” for a

One Year Since I Started this Mess

It’s been almost a full year since I was diagnosed with breast cancer and since October is breast cancer awareness month, I thought I’d share what I’ve learned during my journey: * SLOW DOWN & SMELL THE ROSES. I find myself slowing down and taking in more of the special moments. I used to be a person that rushed through everything, overbooked myself, & never really slowed down. After being diagnosed, I’ve given myself permission to say no to events that I don’t want to attend, to no overbook myself, & to sit back and enjoy life. I have a 3 & 5 year who they are constantly asking me to play silly games, lay in bed together, or give endless kisses and now I say yes to it all. They aren’t young forever and taking in these sweet moments are what keep me going. They have been a huge part of my recovery and I strive daily to make them proud. So slow down and enjoy the life you are fighting so hard to keep.  * MAMMOGRAMS SAVE LIVES. I can’t begin to say how incredibly impor

Hormone Therapy

I get asked daily if treatment is over, if I beat cancer, if I’m cured or am I finished with everything. The answer is NO. I’m here to educate you a little bit, I’ll never be 100% cured from cancer, I’ll always be fighting in some way & for the next TEN years I have to take these little pills called Tamoxifen. Don’t google it, you won’t want to read all the side effects (its typically like taking a tiny dose of chemotherapy daily).  I’ve had my first surgery, gone through 8 rounds of grueling chemotherapy, 56 shots, 25 radiation treatments, & now this.... hormone blockers. My cancer was hormone receptive positive so I have to have hormone therapy. These pills that I received in the mail today are what I’m MOST terrified of during my whole journey, the part I’ve been dragging my feet on and dreading the most. The side effects are outrageous, my body could start breaking down again, my body has a chance of never really recovering, & to be honest most days I get out of bed an

It’s been THREE months.

It’s been 3 months since my last infusion. Three months since I had the most intense anxiety of my life, not knowing what the next round of side effects would be. Three months since looking the sickest I’ve looked ever looked in my life.  BUT three months of my body getting stronger, three months of knowing that chemotherapy is behind me, & three months of knowing that I am continuing to THRIVE. When I was first diagnosed, I knew personally only one person that had breast cancer.  O.N.E. I felt clueless, lonely, & terrified that I would be on the biggest island alone.  Now I’ve made some incredible new friends that have also been diagnosed. These friends answer questions, understand my struggles, & continue to lift me up when I’m down. I’m also further along in my journey than these new friends, so I continue to give back with all the knowledge and experience that I have gained. I’ve given away so many of my special items that pulled me through and happy to help anothe

Girl, take come control

*My radiation oncologist started a clothing line for patients going through radiation treatment. She sells and designs soft undergarments that help with the burning skin during treatment. She’s incredible and we’ve bonded quite a bit since my diagnosis. She’s starting a new website and has asked me to blog for her! It’s such a honor to help other women through my writing. I thought I’d share my first article. Enjoy!  Congrats! You are now part of a special club that no one wants to be a part of, and have received a diagnosis that you wouldn’t wish on absolutely anyone.    You’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer, and suddenly your world starts spinning out of control.    Doctor’s appointments, to do lists, writing down questions—it’s not long until you begin feeling completely helpless, and find yourself questioning every single thing you’ve ever done in your life.   “Was it too much caffeine?”  “Too much meat?”  “Should I have paid more and bought the organic vegetables”  “Birth contr

My little bug’s graduation 

Sometimes you have to forget cancer, put on a dress, curl your wig, and smile so big for your graduate. Hard to believe my beautiful baby girl will be starting kindergarten in the fall. She’s super smart, loves to ride her bike, adores her friends, isn’t a morning person, loves he brother, & is quite the artist. I hope she knows that I wake up fighting for her everyday. I want to show her how being a working mom and working through this awful diagnosis, that you can beat this and seeing her grow up is one of my greatest loves. Congrats Scarlett Rose. You make mommy so very proud.