One Year Since I Started this Mess
It’s been almost a full year since I was diagnosed with breast cancer and since October is breast cancer awareness month, I thought I’d share what I’ve learned during my journey:
* SLOW DOWN & SMELL THE ROSES. I find myself slowing down and taking in more of the special moments. I used to be a person that rushed through everything, overbooked myself, & never really slowed down. After being diagnosed, I’ve given myself permission to say no to events that I don’t want to attend, to no overbook myself, & to sit back and enjoy life. I have a 3 & 5 year who they are constantly asking me to play silly games, lay in bed together, or give endless kisses and now I say yes to it all. They aren’t young forever and taking in these sweet moments are what keep me going. They have been a huge part of my recovery and I strive daily to make them proud. So slow down and enjoy the life you are fighting so hard to keep.
* MAMMOGRAMS SAVE LIVES. I can’t begin to say how incredibly important it is to get your annual mammogram. And if you are under 40 and your insurance doesn’t cover the tests yet, then make a point to do monthly checks. Set a mental note (heck even put it in your calendar) to check your breasts at the beginning of every month. Self examinations and mammograms save lives, so don’t put it off. One in eight women are now diagnosed with breast cancer and it doesn’t discriminate so be your biggest advocate.
* YOU WILL BEAT THIS. Yes, being diagnosed with cancer is the scariest thing I’ve ever had to overcome but I also did so much research and discovered that it’s not a death sentence. There are aggressive treatment plans that will help you beat cancer. There will be several days where you are so overwhelmed, but taking one day at a time is extremely important. You will be incredibly surprised to see how strong your body truly is.
* YOU ARE NEVER REALLY CURED FROM CANCER. Doctors call this “no sign of disease” & its a lovely thing to hear, but there will still be daily reminders of the disease. Whether it’s side effects from treatment, scars from surgery, or the mental stress of wondering if the cancer will return, learn how to start doing things that help manage the extra stresses (ie, meditation, acupuncture, exercise, support groups... these have all helped me). Again, keep up on your self exams, mammograms, dr follow ups, and loop your doctor in if you notice any new symptoms.
* EDUCATE OTHERS. Don’t assume people understand what you are experiencing or know the answers. This is the hardest one for me. I’ve gotten my feelings hurt by so many during my journey and many of times have been in shock at some of the questions I’ve been asked. But when you start to think about it, how would they begin to understanding? They aren’t in your shoes and most of your friends or family doesn’t have cancer. It all comes down to educating others about your physical being, details of tests, next steps, and specifics on how you may need their support. Just because you finished radiation or chemotherapy doesn’t mean you will be back to normal the next week or even the next month. Recovery can take years, so continue to rest when you can and educate people that you may still need help, listen to your body as you are still recovering.
* BUILD A STRONG TRIBE. Like I’ve stated before, I’m a mom to 2 young children and there is absolutely no way I could have gotten through the past year without my tribe. It’s ok to ask for help, it isn’t a sign of weakness and for many, it’s hard to actually ask for help. But once your treatment plan in set and you have all the doctor appointments scheduled, start reaching out to your close friends, coworkers, relatives, neighbors, new friends, anyone that wants to help! This is the time to get organized and figure out what will help you the most. Do you need a meal train set up, rides to appointments, chemotherapy packages, chemo pals, gofundme account, or help with the kids? You will be shocked at who shows up for you during these difficult times and who doesn’t. The people that helped me the most were the mom’s from my daughter’s preschool. They helped with dinners, picking up my daughter from school, taking her to play dates, feeding her, taking her to birthday parties, anything that would help relieve some stress. And the interesting thing is, I didn’t know them for a long time. Most of them I had just met 3 months ago. They barely knew me and my family let alone owe me anything. But we all became incredibly close and I will forever be grateful for them. So don’t be afraid to ask for help as you will need it!
* START TALKING ABOUT THE EMOTIONAL SIDE OF CANCER. The physical pain is hard during treatment but holy sh*t the emotional side is unbelievable. Yes, chemotherapy was brutal, radiation was exhausting, but once you are finished with treatment you think you can wash your hands of everything and feel all better. But it’s quite the opposite. The emotional side of cancer is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to overcome!! I’m back to work full time, I’m a mom/wife/daughter/sister/friend, I’m trying to get back to my normal life but it’s all so overwhelming. The check in calls have stopped, the doctor appointments have subsided (which is awesome but also scary as no one sees you every week) and your body is no where near fully recovered. Plus cancer is what I continue to think about the moment I wake up and the last thing before I go to bed. It’s still so real and raw. The stress and anxiety of reoccurrence is what keeps me up at night. One moment I feel like I’ve got it together and the next I want to fall to my knees with anxiety. That’s the crazy thing about stress, we don’t know how it will effect us. But I realize I can keep controlling what I can and live. Live the life that I so love.
* YOUR HAIR WILL GROW BACK - FAST. It’s hard to believe in the moment that I will have hair again. I had 8 rounds of chemotherapy so I lost my hair on my head, eyebrows, eyelashes, & pretty much all over my body. But you will be surprised that the moment treatment is over, hair starts to grow! And enjoy every stage of growth as I never could have imagined that I would like short hair but surprisedly, I’m loving it!
* GRATITUDE JOURNALS. Every night I write down 3 things that I’m grateful for. These items can be small or big- there are no rules. This has brought a new perspective to my life and helps me stay focused on the positive because I’ve got so very much to be thankful for!
So there you have it! A whole year wrapped up in a nice bow, well kinda. But in all honesty, I truly believe life is about lessons and trying to find the meaning of it all. As I’m just one year into my diagnosis and now have a lifetime to beat this, I’m continued to be grateful for my friends, my family, & my beautiful life. A grateful heart sees each day as a gift.
5 months post chemotherapy hair, new highlights, and new dreams!! Thanks for following me the last year.