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Showing posts from April, 2018

• infusion #6 • 

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I can’t believe that I’m at #6. Somedays I feel like this journey has been years and other days I feel like I’m moving right along. This was a very special round for me as my family joined me: mom, dad, & my 2 sisters. I kept trying to explain to them the whole progress and telling them sitting in an infusion room is a pretty surreal experience. They wanted to support me and join me, so they did. The infusions are pretty routine for me now, dr appt before to see how my blood work looks (I have to be at a certain white blood cell count before they can infuse), lots of premeditation, numbing cream/ice on my port before accessing it, snacks packed, ready to roll. I had a new nurse this round and every time I have someone new I get really nervous. The initial poke into my port to hook up the IV can be extremely painful and I get a nauseous feeling before hand, so I just never know the behaviors of the nurse. Does she say......”1,2,3.......poke” or does she just go for it? Is she gentl…

• Hard Week• 

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I’ve got three rounds of chemotherapy left (#6 on Tuesday), 5 weeks of radiation will follow, followed by another expansion appointment, 2 surgeries, & a lot more screens after treatment. So..... A LOT more to accomplish, but I’ve already done SO much and I need to remember that. I need to celebrate my wins. 
Sadness has definitely set in. It’s so much to take in at times. It’s hard to look at myself (bald and boobless), my energy is at an all time low, my WHOLE body hurts from neuropathy, & I’m just sad. I miss my old life. I miss my energy. I miss me. I usual post pictures of me when I’m feeling good, have my wig on, & makeup. But most days I’ve got HUGE black bags under my eyes, no makeup, skin is splotchy and I look sick. But I know it’s temporary. It’s all temporary.This week has been incredibly hard and exhausting as Miles got extremely sick and we needed up at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital all day yesterday. Lots of tests to make sure he didn’t have an awful infect…

|| infusions 4 & 5 ||

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I’ve gotten a little behind in my writing so I apologize. I’ve decided to combine my infusions #4 & #5 posts.First off I have to say FOUR was WAY better thank 3. WAY!!! Maybe it was the combination of rest and naturalpath techniques I was doing, but I’ll take it! I still slept the first 3 days with four as I was exhausted. My tastebuds were still off but by the time the weekend rolled around, I was in pretty good shape. Walking 3-4 miles a day, not feeling too tired, and going about my routine. Bye bye Red Devil!!! As you recall, #1-4 were the AC cocktails (red devil) and this is what makes you very sick, tired, & no appetite. But I did it! I even had a very good friend sit in with me for #4, which made it even more special and easier for me. The other good thing about after #4 is I hit my deductible so I got to take all of my shots home with me. Awesome! BUT that means either Darren or I will be giving them to myself. Yikes!! I will again have my shots on the 3-9 days after m…