Last day of work in 2017

Thursday, 12/14 was my last day of work. The day felt both normal and abnormal at the same time. My alarm went off at 5:30am, shower, dressed, kids ready, lunches, then while driving into work it hit me....This is my LAST day driving into work in 2017. This is my LAST day looking the way that I do now, driving this same route, & seeing most of my co-workers.

I cried. A LOT. Ugly Oprah cry.......

But something incredibly beautiful happened the moment I walked through the doors; the office had decided to wear PINK, hang pink ribbons on their office doors, my office was filled with cards, treats, & gifts. I felt so LOVED to know that this was all for me. To know that everyday for the next year while I am struggling, having a bad day, that I can call any of them and they will be there. <3

I am trying to look at the positive in this journey. The special people that have messaged, called, come to see me, dropped off goodies, and the people that have already wanted to help.

My co-worker and very special friend created a gofundme to help raise money for my wig!! UNREAL. This was the first time since I heard the word chemotherapy that I haven't been terrified. Because my wig (Gwyneth is her name) looks like ME. She is beautiful and I can't wait to rock her. She is real human hair so I can style it and I need to wash it once a month. PERFECTION.

I decided to do a public post to social media. At first I really didn't know what to say or how people would take the news. But again... HOLY COW.... an out pour of love and support, prayers, comments, and everyone being there. Near and far, from my childhood all the way to my adulthood.

I didn't want me to be burdened by my news. I am always the one to take care of people, plan, support so it is quite strange to be on the other side. I had lunch with a friend and I told her how uncomfortable I am to ask for help but her answer was quite simple..... "It isn't strange for your friends. This is what friendships is all about." (insert more tears)

Angels are all around me. My tribe is already stepping up and I haven't asked for anything. I love you. I sincerely LOVE YOU ALL!

You guys......I am already feeling so full of LIGHT & LOVE. I am walking on clouds as I get ready for my BIG day on Tuesday.

I am scared....don't get me wrong....SCARED like I have never been before in my entire life.

But also at peace.

I WILL beat this friends.
I WILL be stronger coming out of this.
And I PROMISE I WILL pay it forward!!

light & love,
Jessie

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