•bring it 2018•

Happy New Year my friends! I hope you all had a lovely holiday and New Year with your loved ones. 

2017 didn’t end so well for me but I’m looking at 2018 and finding the beautiful and magic in an awful diagnosis. 

Be gentle on me 2018. 

I have so much to be thankful for, I really do. My pathology report came back from my surgery and everything looks really good. All the cancer is out of my body and my margins were all negative. This means that they were able to remove all the cancer and clear all markers in my breast. The lymph nodes also came back 100% negative with cancer... SO happy! No cancer has spread & no radiology! Both my surgeons are very happy with these results.

I had my drain removed on Friday, 12.22.17 and I had my follow up appointment with my plastic surgeon on 12.26.17. I’ve had all of my swelling move up and under my arm pit as well as an awful rash. But my plastic surgeon informed me that this is very normal as I am healing quickly with little bruising. He was very impressed! He also told me that I still have to use “T-Rex” arms for a couple more weeks as the skin they had to stretch over my expander is paper thin and I’m not out of the clearing for tears. So I’m still taking it easy, no lifting my arm, 5 lb lifting limit, & limited driving. But exciting as I have my first expansion scheduled for 1.10.18. I will update you all on how this works as I don’t have all the details yet. I still have to wear a tight bandage and sleep on my back, propped up, which isn’t always easy. Getting comfortable at all can be tough. 

Next, I have my follow appointment with my surgeon to see how I’m healing from the mastectomy. Then he will schedule a date to get my chemo port placed on my left side (opposite from surgery) right above my breast. This will be an out patient procedure that will take place before my chemotherapy starts. 

I then see my oncologist on 1.12.18 to see how strong I am, how I’m healing, & to map out my chemotherapy. This will be a BIG day. Stressed about this. 

Lots of you have reached out to see how I’m feeling and healing. Physically I’m doing really well. Sore and I get tired quickly but good. The sun came out in Oregon this week so I’ve been taking advantage and going on some walks. I miss working out and the way it makes me feel. So walks have been great! 

Mentally I’m been struggling a little. It’s definitely sinking in that I have breast cancer and that starting chemotherapy is right around the corner. It’s hard for me to look at myself, it’s just crazy to see. I usually wake up around 4 am in a panic that I’m one day closer to my 2nd step, but continuing to try and stay positive and remember.... one day at a time. ONE day. I CAN do this. 

I will be calling a naturopath to schedule some time and ways to manage chemo and also calling my therapist as I’m sure she has some great ideas on managing stress and anxiety as I get closer to chemotherapy. 

But I keep reminding myself how blessed I am. I’m so very blessed. I have the best tribe there is. You all haven’t forgotten about me, constantly reach out, and make me feel like I can do this. I’ve been called a warrior, beast, strong mama, & kick ass women!! So my confidence is booming! 

Take a look at all my cards, flowers, candles, & goodies. You all make my shitty days so much better. 

Today marks two weeks since my surgery and I’m doing well!!

Here’s to a healthy and happy 2018!! 

hugs,

Jessie 




Comments

  1. My Sweet Girl....this is all good news. I'm adding to your list of names..."Fierce Mama"
    You are as fierce as a tiger protecting your children. You are fierce when it comes to your health and body. And can we talk fierce work out woman?

    You know I love you and pray for you every day. I have tears of joy-sadness-longing. You have made me a better person. You have kept me in check and make me realise that I am blessed to have you as my friend...My Sweet Soul Sister.

    To the moon and back baby...........Constance

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  2. Praying for you Jess. God has you in His hands.

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  3. I love reading your blogs and you and your family are constantly on my mind and in my prayers. You truly inspire all of us in so many ways. We are here rooting for you every second, every minute, every hour of every day!! You will be remembered today, tomorrow and way after you have beaten this cancer altogether!!! I am amazed by your strength but I am even more amazed by your courage to share and be vulnerable with your story. I love the fact that you share all of your heart and emotions with us, but not just the good but the difficult as well . It helps me connect and understand even more as to what you are enduring and fighting for. I always wear my emotions on my sleeve and always thought this was a weakness of mine. However, as I get older I embrace that part of me and know that is how God created me. And I am beyond grateful for those like yourself who can be so genuine and real with their emotions! In my book, that is what the true definition of courage is. Love to you and your beautiful family! Always know you are never far from my thoughts and my heart...

    Ilene McGovern

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