Jessie's Pink Journey

Sometimes you have to forget cancer, put on a dress, curl your wig, and smile so big for your graduate. Hard to believe my beautiful baby girl will be starting kindergarten in the fall. She’s super smart, loves to ride her bike, adores her friends, isn’t a morning person, loves he brother, & is quite the artist. I hope she knows that I wake up fighting for her everyday. I want to show her how being a working mom and working through this awful diagnosis, that you can beat this and seeing her grow up is one of my greatest loves. Congrats Scarlett Rose. You make mommy so very proud.

Wednesday, May 30 at 2:45pm is when my first radiation appointment was. I will be having radiation daily for 5 weeks. That’s 25 appointments total. Every Friday I would see my radiation oncologist as she would check my skin and answer any additional questions that I may have.  Radiation therapy treats cancer by using high-energy waves to kill tumor cells. The goal is to destroy or damage the cancer without hurting too many healthy cells. This treatment can cause side effects, but they’re different for everyone. The ones you have depend on the type of radiation you get, how much you get, the part of your body that gets treatment, and how healthy you are overall. There are two kinds of radiation side effects: early and late. Early side effects, such as nausea and fatigue, usually don’t last long. They may start during or right after treatment and last for several weeks after it ends, but then they get better. Late side effects, such as lung or heart problems, may take years to sho...

May 8, 2018. I’m always remember this date. I have been looking forward to this day for months. My last infusion. My last day walking into the chemo room, feeling sick to my stomach and being injected with poison. The last time being anxious about how my body will respond to the “cocktail”.  I woke up feeling a sign of relief, proud of my strong body, & knowing that I am beating cancer- one day at a time. Even when I weak, picking myself up and not letting cancer rule my life. Knowing that I still have a beautiful life to live and cancer will never define me.  I woke up in the morning and Scarlett gave me a really sweet card. The theme of the day was, “No Mo Chemo”. It was too sweet. I was very emotional so of course I started crying. Tears of job!  I’m thrilled to be closing this chapter in my cancer journey, but it’s always sad to say goodbye to lovely people that made my appointments so much easier. I had the opportunity to meet and was cared for my some incredible...

As I exhale and feel a huge sigh of relief that chemotherapy is over, I’m overwhelmed with stress of my next chapter. It’s human to be terrified of the unknown. I hate the unknown, despise it actually. I’ve got another BIG appointment on 5.28.18 so if you can, take a second to send some positive energy my way. I’ll slay this chapter like I did the last, but the added love and support always helps. Let’s do the damn thing.  Radiation here I come!! 

Chemotherapy #7. Sooooooooo close to being done with this chapter, yet I still get nervous walking into the infusion room. Nervous about the initial port poke, nervous about the flushing of the port (tastes like alcohol and tends to make me pretty nauseous), & extremely nervous on how this round of medicine will affect my body.  But slowly celebrating my win of being DONE with this crap.  Because friends.... I might look ok, act like I’m doing well, have a good attitude, BUT this crap SUCKS. Every single part of it.  Ugh. But as o keep saying, I’m doing it! Day by Day.... doing it! I haven’t had any bad reactions from the last 2 infusions so they were able to turn up the drip to pretty quick with this eoubd. So I was only there for about 3-4 hours instead of 4-5. Yeah!  I got home and had a snack and then went to bed. I was feeling pretty worn out as I tend to get after these long days.  But then around 7:00pm I started to not feel too well. I immedi...

I can’t believe that I’m at #6. Somedays I feel like this journey has been years and other days I feel like I’m moving right along.  This was a very special round for me as my family joined me: mom, dad, & my 2 sisters.  I kept trying to explain to them the whole progress and telling them sitting in an infusion room is a pretty surreal experience. They wanted to support me and join me, so they did.  The infusions are pretty routine for me now, dr appt before to see how my blood work looks (I have to be at a certain white blood cell count before they can infuse), lots of premeditation, numbing cream/ice on my port before accessing it, snacks packed, ready to roll.  I had a new nurse this round and every time I have someone new I get really nervous. The initial poke into my port to hook up the IV can be extremely painful and I get a nauseous feeling before hand, so I just never know the behaviors of the nurse. Does she say......”1,2,3.......poke” or does she just g...

I’ve got three rounds of chemotherapy left (#6 on Tuesday), 5 weeks of radiation will follow, followed by another expansion appointment, 2 surgeries, & a lot more screens after treatment. So..... A LOT more to accomplish, but I’ve already done SO much and I need to remember that. I need to celebrate my wins.  Sadness has definitely set in. It’s so much to take in at times. It’s hard to look at myself (bald and boobless), my energy is at an all time low, my WHOLE body hurts from neuropathy, & I’m just sad.  I miss my old life. I miss my energy. I miss me.  I usual post pictures of me when I’m feeling good, have my wig on, & makeup. But most days I’ve got HUGE black bags under my eyes, no makeup, skin is splotchy and I look sick. But I know it’s temporary. It’s all temporary. This week has been incredibly hard and exhausting as Miles got extremely sick and we needed up at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital all day yesterday. Lots of tests to make sure he didn’...